Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

Be Thankful For Taxes

I hope my fellow Torontonians filed their taxes by yesterdays deadline. How else could we fund and provide for our heroic public service providers. Services that are so often taken for granted like Toronto Fire Services. As much as everyone likes to grunt and grown during tax season it is a necessary evil. One only has to look at the outstanding work of the Fire Department and how the handled a dangerous roof fire in less than one hour. Your tax dollars at work indeed!

The Only Thing That’s Soft Is The Pillow

Toronto's PFL stopped in at the Casbah in Hamilton Thursday.  Oh, the carnage!

Toronto's PFL stopped in at the Casbah in Hamilton Thursday. Oh, the carnage!

The Pillow Fight League only gets better. I missed #36 at the Mod Club and decided to make the trek to Hamilton to catch Fight #37.

This was the first match ever to be hosted in Hamilton and the PFL didn’t dissapoint. The Casbah turned out to be a perfect venue. Judging by screams and enthusiasm from the crowd some new fans were converted.

Don’t worry Hamilton has hijacked the PFL. The next Toronto match promises to be an exciting new chapter. (One that involves SATURDAY NIGHTS instead of weeknights!).

PFL 39 – NEW DAY RISING!

The Garrison
1197 Dundas St. West (at Ossington)
TORONTO

Saturday Feb. 27, 2010
$12 in advance, $15 at door
Doors 9 pm, fights 10 pm

Check Out Werd Life

WERD LIFE

I was talking to Mark Appleyard about his new site during the Flip Premiere. It’s finally live, Werd Life. The new site is a collaboration between Mark, Geoff Rowley and artist Todd Bratrud. With these strong skateboard personalities the site should be epic and live up to the definition.

Getting Flipped Off By A Fed

Not sure what is with the Conservative Party these days? Are they daydreaming about golf, summer vacation or “sexy” isotopes. No matter I’m hopeful that the funding the TTC is supposed to get for the new accessible streetcars goes through.

Federal Transport Minister John Baird apologized to Toronto Mayor David Miller for using colourful language criticizing the city’s application for stimulus funding. The June 27th deadline to pursue the TTC’s Bombardier contract is approaching. I’m glad Baird apologized and that everyone can move on. It looks as though something constructive will actually happen between the two levels of government. Good thing we didn’t just F__@ off and wait to see if we would actually see some stimulus money.

Another Day In The Urban Jungle

someturkey1
someturkey2

The city has its beasts; rats, pigeons, squirrels, and gulls. Looks like a turkey flew the coop and decided to hit the rooftop patios of the downtown core. (Thanks to sdv for the pics!)

Ah well, another day and another creature in the urban jungle.

Billy Bob’s Joaquin Phoenix Moment

It was unfortunate to see Billy Bob Thorton’s meltdown play out on Q. In a strange parallel to Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman Billy Bob was offended by host Jian Ghomeshi references to his other work (both on the screen and his screenwriting talents). Unlike Letterman, Jian Ghomeshi was not belittling or condescending. He well recognized the Billy Bob’s catalog of music to date. Jian was rightly impressed and inquisitive about the Boxmasters output in such a short time together. The resulting meltdown was shocking and disappointing to say the least.

Jian Ghomeshi remains one of CBC jewels. His show Q remains one of the best programs/podcasts CBC offers up Canada and the world. Hopefully Billy Bob Thornton and Boxmasters, recover from this public pouting fit. As an artist, actor and writer Billy Bob Thornton is exceptional despite this behaviour.

Well the dust has settled. Boxmasters play Massey Hall again tonight (April 9th) in support of Willie Nelson.

WILLIE NELSON with special guests Billy Bob Thornton & The Boxmasters and Ray Price
Massey Hall
April 9, 2009 7:30 PM
$125.00 – $59.50

Bad For Business + Sex Tape – FRIDAY NIGHT!!!

Whoa. An “extreme” one two punch coming at you this Friday night. Lewis Cruise and Love Skateboards with back to back video premieres. Good times will be served. BYOB.

BJ Birdie and ACE Also to be named in Steriod Report

bjbirdie.JPG

Former and current Blue Jays left off George Mitchell’s list of the suspected tem members taking performance enhancement drugs were named today. BJ Birdie and ACE have now been included in the hype surrounding the Toronto Blue Jays and steroid use. The current report failed to show the evidence that is clear to many Blue Jay fans across the country. Not known to many but one of the main reasons for BJ Birdie’s departure from the Blue Jay organization after the 1999 season was due to allegations involving BJ and Jose Canseco injecting each other with performance enhancement drugs.

ACE, the current Blue Jay Mascot has also been under the radar as of late. His physical abilities as a mascot outweigh most of his counter parts from different cities. He’s out and about running up and down the aisles during games and even helps with the 7th inning cleanup. Look for more of ACE’s name in and around these steroid hearings.

Keeping the Public Informed, the Public Health Way

TheStar.com | News | City quiet as a mouse?

Why did Toronto Public Health not advertise the mouse infestation?

“Because it was only pre-packaged dried goods the risk level is quite low,” said Jim Chan, the city’s manager of food safety. Oh well, too true, it’s not like mice chew through the cardboard boxes or shit on top of the cans or litter their skin flakes in the crinkles in plastic packaging as they brush on by.

Just to push his point home, he added that although a public announcement was not made, consumers could find the closing notice posted on the department’s website.

Well, I don’t know about you, but like a good little Torontonian, I always start my day perusing the public health website. And when I’m done there, I move on to the fascinating announcements on the Ontario and Canadian ones (is there a national one?) about the latest food poisoning scare. Now, just one thing, when you visit Toronto’s helpful and comprehensive website, please tell me where the infestation info is.

A&P did its part. “The company disposed of any and all food and grocery products that was potentially compromised,” it said. And it did it in a record two days too, on top of hunting down and ridding the place of every mouse and bacterium they carried.

Time for The Star to do another Dine Safe series, except this time it should be on Shop Safe!

Toronto is Flipped Hither and Thither

TOGoogleMaps.jpg

Have you seen the Google Maps satellite view of Toronto? Check out the picture to the right. You can see the north side of the CN Tower and the south side of those buildings along the Gardiner Expressway.

It all makes me wonder – did M.C. Escher design this city? Or maybe Picasso?

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